Geraldine's musings

Nevilley's meme

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 12:36:18 GMT

if you had me alone, locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you have me do?

Anything within my physical capabilities, I hasten to add.

Rivetting stuff!

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:54:46 GMT

Charles and I watched Hamlet last night as I'd heard wonderful reviews of the production, and sure enough it was absolutely rivetting; even Charles thoroughly enjoyed all three hours of it.

I've had to completely revised my opinion of the Tennant chappie who I thought made a pleasant enough Doctor Who despite a lot of gurning and overemphasis, but I have to admit that he was brilliant as Hamlet, without overly emphatic facial contortions, or idiotic capering, except where it was required. Charles and I were both amazed at how good he was. I expected Jean-Paul^^^^Patrick Stewart to be good, and so he was, in fact the entire cast was excellent.

Charles is entirely delighted with his espresso machine. I think it must be one of the best things I've ever given him, just behind his PC and his music system. He keeps making me perfect cappuccinos, which are delicious and terribly addictive. No wonder we loved our froffy coffee so much back in the 50s.

We have a houseful of delicious food and none of us feels like eating any of it. Charles and John went to Tesco and came back with chicken soup and fish cakes!!! Meanwhile I have half a large Christmas pudding, half a dozen mince pies and an entire untouched Christmas cake, all gluten free, and no-one can face any of it. I was going to do roast beef tonight, but everyone has begged for a rest from rich food. I can't say that I'm disappointed, because I was rather dreading it.

I have to say that the GF mince pies are rather a disappointment. The pastry is just too worthy, even though it's made with butter, and doesn't crumble properly like delicious extra-short shortcrust.

I've spent today mostly half-asleep, even in spite of the cappuccinos; I do hope I can wake up enough to at least get out of the house tomorrow. The thaw has set in properly and the whole day has been grimly overcast; everything is soaking wet and even the cats haven't ventured out today.

What happened?

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 11:45:35 GMT

In spite of me having had only 3 hours sleep for some inexplicable reason, we had a perfect Christmas Day; a delicious brunch of scrambled eggs with crispy Parma ham and Buck's Fizz, followed by coffee and a bottle of Cava in the sitting room while Mother Christmas doled out the presents from under the tree. It had to be Mother Christmas this year because I had lost the labels and only I could recognise which of my gifts were for who.

Everyone had lovely presents. I was delighted with my new watch, fluffy dressing gown and three favourite DVDs, Scrooged and Sister Acts I and II, plus a couple of books and lots of other good things. John was pleased with his new smart dressing gown and mountain of books and Charles was delighted with his espresso machine and mountain of books and CDs.

Charles made us all espressos, which were delicious and I'm afraid he may have had too many himself, because I can't otherwise account for what happened later. We were all quite tired from the festivities (and maybe the wine) so went our separate ways for a couple of hours when Charles came and collected me to go downstairs and watch Doctor Who, which I have to say I found very disappointing.

We then did the last minute preparations, which included me entirely re-dressing the table which had been John's job, but, really, he has no idea! He hadn't even bothered to find the best glasses but had put three mis-matching ones on the table, with tiny green paper napkins, no candles and no crackers!

This left Charles doing things in the kitchen and just as were were taking the dishes to the table there was a tremendous crash from the kitchen, followed by a string of oaths; Charles had dropped most of the parrots on the floor !! Admittedly it was an awful nuisance because we had to clear it up, but there was still enough parrots for us to eat; Charles, however, wanted it all to be perfect and he threw the most enormous tantrum, just like a 12 year old. He was swearing and shouting that he hated Christmas and went completely berserk chucking stuff about. I saw then how much like my Pa he was, although I don't believe Pa ever ruined Christmas dinner.

Sadly, he refused to enjoy the dinner and was absolutely horrible about the crackers, screwed up his paper hat and threw it on the floor, drank two thirds of a bottle of expensive red wine in about three gulps and sulked through what was left of the meal. I couldn't eat anything; the lovely coq au vin turned to dust in my mouth and I could hardly force any food down my reluctant throat. Nobody wanted any of the pudding. Thank God it wasn't an enormous turkey that we'd been slaving over since mid-morning!!

John cleared up and we all went to our rooms. The new Poirot was just about to begin when Charles came in, just as if nothing had happened, and asked me to watch it with him in the sitting-room. So that's what we did. John, who could sulk for England, preferred to lie on his bed and read a new book, but refused to put out the rubbish. I didn't realise that we should have put it out till this morning when he informed me that the binmen had been and we still had eight days' rubbish in the wheelie bin, plus over a fortnight's recycling. So that means we'll have loads of rubbish festering in the yard until next Saturday, and recycling for a further week after that. I'm not pleased! I'll have to catch him in a good mood and ask him to go to the tip!

Strangely, I had absolutely no problem sleeping after that little drama and woke up at about 9.00 this morning absolutely ravenous, which I can't ever remember doing on Boxing Day before! So I've had fruit juice, toasted olive ciabatta, some with butter and Marmite and some with raspberry preserve, which I don't usually allow myself, but no coffee, because I know I shall have to have a cappuccino when Charles wakes up. So I'm loafing around in my new fluffy pink dressing gown and in a moment, I shall get back to my new Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book.

I've decided that in the interests of my mental health we shall have yesterday's leftovers for dinner tonight, (God knows there's plenty left, even of the parrots), because I want to watch Hamlet with Patrick Stewart and that Tennant chappie, you know........ Doctor Who, which I've heard very good reports about and which starts at 5.00 pm. The roast beef can wait till tomorrow.

I'm not particularly upset now about yesterday's incident, but I really can't understand what happened to make a fairly commonplace kitchen accident into the disaster that was our Christmas Dinner.

Apart from that we had a lovely day!

And my chicken liver paté was delicious!

Ready!

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 23:03:09 GMT

Everything's ready. All the presents are wrapped, the neighbours' cards delivered, tomorrow's coq au vin ready cooked and the vegetables prepared. I've made the lime and coconut mousse, brandy butter and mince pies. I've cooked the gammon which we ate with Charles' pease pudding and bubble & squeak, followed by mince pies, brandy butter and cream.

I've watched Victoria Wood and feel a little disappointed; she didn't make me laugh as much as she usually does, but maybe I'm a bit too tired.

I'm looking forward to getting into bed and reading a bit of my book before dropping into the arms of Morpheus (I hope!)

And I'm really looking forward to tomorrow!

Happy Christmas Everybody!

Feeling more festive.

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 13:32:25 GMT

On Tuesday night I was vastly sick for no apparent reason, so Wednesday, when I had to get up early to go to my Christmas Present hair appointment, was a bit problematic, in that I didn't dare eat anything before I went. This makes for problems with taking my medication, so I was worried in case I got very breathless or something, but it all went OK and I was able to eat some lunch when I got home and take the medication. I was glad about this, because I was worried I wouldn't be able to go to the Steeleye Span concert that evening.

I was very pleased with the hair cut, which was really short, just as I like it, and beautifully thinned out, which makes me feel delightfully light-headed and lots of years younger.

Sadly, I couldn't endure the loudness of the concert and had to leave at the interval with my ears ringing. The drummer was Far Too Loud and the sound man turned everything else up to match, so that it was, in my opinion, far too loud for folk, even Folk Rock. I was a bit sad, but, to be honest I had been a bit disappointed. I felt, and Charles agreed with me, that they just seemed to be going through the motions; there was no passion there. Maybe I was expecting too much after 40 years. Or maybe they were saving it for the second half. I did wonder afterwards, with my ears ringing for the next few hours, as I developed a headache, whether I'd been suffering from some strange extended form of migraine which affected my judgement.

I've learnt my lesson, though. Never go to a concert without earplugs! I shall certainly take some to the Garbarek concert next month, although I hope I don't need them. Overenthusiastic drumming isn't something I associate with Garbarek, but the wind instruments can get a bit loud, so I shall be covered.

I shall still go to any Maddy Prior concerts in our area, because her own band is very different and I love their performance.

Thursday was Charles' 34th. birthday. I simply cannot believe he's so old. We had already been out on Tuesday to buy him Expensive New Boots, so I just gave him a cheapo PC game and a book, while John gave him cash to buy what he wants. John also bought us all an Indian takeaway. We're so fed up with our usual takeaway which we've used for nearly 10 years, but which has recently been delivering the wrong stuff, or not delivering someone's main course, so John looked on the Internet and found a site which contains a lot of Newcastle restaurants and takeaways, where you can order and pay online, and we had a very nice meal from a newish restaurant none of us has previously tried. It was delicious, but rather more expensive than our old one.

One advantage is that you have a printed out copy of your order, and so have they, so mistakes are less likely to happen.

On Thursday I had developed awful pains in my ribs and shoulders, particularly whenever I laughed or coughed, presumably from the violence of the up-chucking on Tuesday night. I'm thankful that it has gone now. Over the last few days Charles has put up and decorated the tree and partly decorated the sitting room. We've been planning menus and this morning I've had to update my online Asda order which will be delivered tomorrow. We'll be eating bread and pull-it for weeks after that's all used up!

I've successfully printed out the labels for the Christmas cards, but now I've lost the cards! Sooo annoying!

Tomorrow I'm going to my Lovely Lady Solicitor's Christmas lunch - usually there are only four of us, but we always have a good time. I love it that she asks me, because I only do 3 or 4 hours a month for her.

It keeps snowing, which is annoying because I'm not very secure on my feet when it's slippery and I can't use Libby when the paths are icy or snowy. It's horrid getting old!

I wish the next few days were over (apart from tomorrow's lunch, obviously) and it was Christmas Eve, with everything ready and done, so that I could relax and make my mince pies to the sound of carols on the radio.

Never mind! There are only the three of us plus the cats, so what doesn't get done can be done later.

Now I must go and have some lunch after which I must tidy the dining room.

I hope this turns out OK, because in Preview, there were no new paragraphs, it was all just one great lump of prose and very difficult to read

ETA: It did turn up as a lump of text and I've now edited it to put the paragraphs back in. I hope it works!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:28:42 GMT

Lets101 - Free Dating Site

I wonder what they mean by "changing personality"? I feel much the same as I did at 18.

Starting to feel slightly festive.

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:24:22 GMT

I spent half the morning watching cookery TV in bed, and half the afternoon sorting out fruit for the puddings and cake.............yes, I know it's really much too late, but better late than never.

I found a nice-looking GF Christmas pudding recipe on Jamie's Oliver's web-site and have decided to make my traditional Christmas cake but with GF flour and Xanthan gum.

I did plan to make the puddings today, but hadn't read the recipe sufficiently carefully; I discovered, on reading it again that I needed to soak the fruit overnight. So I assembled the fruit and drenched it in brandy and orange juice and put it aside till tomorrow. Then I assembled the fruit I need for the cake and drenched that in yet more brandy and put that aside till tomorrow, too.

Since I plan a pot roast in the slow cooker tomorrow, I shall be able to start the cake in the morning, cook it slowly in the oven, then steam the puddings one at a time in the pressure cooker.

I must look in the Larousse Gastronomique after dinner to see how to make confit d'oie, because I have a cheap goose in the freezer bought from Lidl with just that in mind and Charles is going to cook it. We might have that for New Year Lunch. We're having coq au vin again for Christmas dinner, by popular request, which is great because it's better reheated, so we can make it the day before, cook it very slowly, then just reheat it on The Day. That will leave plenty of time for festive vegetables, such as sprouts with chestnuts and bacon (Charles' speciality) and parrots, which we all love. We won't have to do roast potatoes, because I've already already ordered tiny baby potatoes which we will boil and smother in butter.

Yes! I'm feeling slightly smug because I actually remembered to go online and order an Asda delivery before Christmas, it may not be as near The Day as Alison's Waitrose delivery ordered for 23rd., but I feel smug that I remembered in time to get it delivered just four days before Christmas; and it doesn't really matter because we always shop locally for the vegetables on the 23rd or 24th.

It's all made me start to feel more festive; I was beginning to think I'd finally joined the Miserable Old Git club; maybe it's because I haven't had to do any rushing around yet, having bought almost all of the few presents I'm able to give this year online some weeks ago and having to buy much less in the way of cakes and biscuits because Charles can't eat them; he won't let me buy the expensive GF ones for him, so we've got one packet of chocolate gingerbread, which will be more than enough for John and me and I plan to make some GF biscuits which we can all eat and buy some nice bittermints and chocolate that Charles likes from Lidl. I already bought some incredibly cheap crackers, either from Lidl or Asda, I can't remember which.

It's Charles' birthday on Thursday and I'm planning a chocolate covered GF orange cake, which Penny gave me the recipe for, and maybe some GF brownies as well. He's having a very mundane present - a new pair of boots! Actually, I've just remembered that I bought a very posh jar of dark preserved cherries a few weeks back, meaning to make Black Forest Cherry cake, so I'll have to decide what to do........

I've booked my Christmas present hair appointment for Wednesday, which is rather good, because that's the night Charles and I are going to see Steeleye Span. On Monday week I'm going to Christmas lunch with the Lovely Lady Solicitor whose accounts I reconcile, to a nice restaurant with her tiny staff and guests. It's really nice to still have a Works' Outing to go to - it makes me feel more normal!

I meant to get Charles and John to go and buy the tree today, but got side-tracked till it was too dark; I don't think it's a good idea to buy a Christmas Tree in the dark, so I've told them they have to go tomorrow morning after they've stirred the puddings and the cake, as required by tradition.

I must also find time tomorrow to print out the labels for Christmas card envelopes; my handwriting is no longer good enough to ensure that cards arrive at their destination.

I've been watching Kirstie Thingummy doing her home-made Christmas on TV and her enthusiasm has sort of re-inspired me. I can scarcely believe that I used to do a lot of that kind of stuff, although not as elaborate as she does - where did I find the time and the energy? Even Charles is talking about making the pickled spiced pears I used to do, although I'm not sure we have time now before Christmas.

Feeling more festive has cheered me up a lot, which is good, because I haven't been feeling all that great recently, my breathlessness seems to get worse on some days and now that I've got two bad knees, a great deal of swearing goes on when I stand up or go up and down stairs.

What with one thing and another, we still haven't finally finished bringing stuff from downstairs for the "office" but hope we can do that before Christmas, because it's meant to be part of my present and I want to ceremonially cut a ribbon across the door on Christmas morning!

I'd better go down and make the planned Chicken Dish, with coconut, crème fraiche, green chilli, rice and peas. At least it's quick to make!

Calling Carol!

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:45:43 GMT

Nom-nom-nom

Snowflake cookies, how lovely. Ta esso!

Oh no! Not again!

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 19:07:49 GMT

Yet another day when I don't feel well enough to eat proper food. I was actually looking forward to the roast beef and roast spuds until about 90 minutes ago when I started to feel nauseated again. I can't blame the Metrodinazole this time, as I finished the course yesterday.

Charles refuses to cook it just for him and John, which means that they have yet another scrap meal to find for themselves; in any case, he's never done a roast dinner unsupervised before and probably feels a bit nervous about it although he's perfectly capable of doing it. I feel really guilty and a rubbish wife and mother.

It's been a rather strange day, actually. I woke up completely just before 6.00 am, even though I probably hadn't gone to sleep till almost 2.00. Normally I can just go back to sleep but not this morning; I was up reading Facebook and LJ by 8.00, having eaten my breakfast, fed the cats and made a large jug of coffee . Heaven knows what I've done with the day, though, because I can't think of one single thing I've accomplished!

I wonder if I have some strange sort of migraine, it's the only thing I can think of which shuts down my digestive system.

I've had three Lottery wins in the last 10 days, totalling less than £100. I feel there's little point in my doing it again, as I've probably used up all my allotted luck for the next 10 years. Does that sound mad?

Tomorrow we have to pray that Lucy starts so that John can take her over to Byker to Keith's Dad's garage where they can fit a cut-price battery. I've never had to buy a new battery for Lucy before, but I bet it ain't what I would call cheap, even at cut price!

Yet again, there's nothing on TV this evening. I know there never is, but I always feel it more if I'm unwell and just want to veg out.

Another weekend has gone by without us finishing off the "office"; I really must get to grips with it, because I know that I will feel a whole lot better when it's done and I can start using it. I'm just a fool to meself! as someone or other used to say.

I'm almost sure it's a migraine now, because I've suddenly started smelling peculiar and unpleasant smells; if this continues to happen I'm going to have to ask Lovely Lady Doctor for some medication. I had to stop taking Imigran, the one I originally used, because it pushed my blood pressure up, which is, for various reasons, unwise, so I just hope that in the intervening years, while I've been almost migraine-free, they've found something different.

I must pull myself together this week, because I need to make the Christmas cake and pudding; I've been putting it off because I feel a bit unsure about using my traditional recipes with Gluten Free flour. I made mince pies last year and they were fine, so I just need to stiffen my backbone.

Because we had no car Charles and I went out shopping in the nearest shops yesterday, he walking and me in Libby. I'd forgotten how inconvenient it is to shop without a car. Charles carried the shopping, but, since we bought cabbage, cauliflower and carrots, it was rather heavy. Charles wanted to buy some herbs and spices, but although we went to a couple of the Asian delis, or rather he did while I sat outside like a kid in a pram, no-one sold any of the traditional European herbs we were after, not even Iceland, so we had to go without.

I'm being summoned to attend Charles' dinner for company, even if I can't eat anything.

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 11:50:34 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, blackberry44 sent to me...

Twelve sn1pes drumming

Eleven k425s piping

Ten hooloovoo_42s a-leaping

Nine ramtops cooking

Eight worshipthemoons a-recycling

Seven hoihos a-writing

Six incognitas a-laughing

Five blu-u-u-ues

Four cats

Three green issues

Two reading novels

...and a radio in a poetry.

How utterly ridiculous!

Aaaaaaaaargh!

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:54:47 GMT

I'm aching all over and particularly in my left (erstwhile "good") knee after an approximately five-mile round trip to our local Lidl in Libby. Usually we go to Lidl in Lucy, but she wouldn't start this morning in spite of the solenoid being "fixed" last week.

Normally I would have waited till the car was fixed but Lidl had espresso coffee machines at a silly price today and I wanted to get one for Charles for Christmas. He adores espresso and it's very expensive to buy out and there's no way I could have afforded an espresso machine from somewhere else.

So I made John come with me because the roads and the crossings are rubbish and I need someone with me when there's no ramp to cross the road. Some roads have a ramp on one side and not the other. All the pavements have near-lethal cambers, are are very uneven and cracked and make it really uncomfortable to ride on the scooter.

We were so late getting to Lidl that I thought the machines would all have gone but there was just one left. Unfortunately, it was in a much bigger box than I had thought and whilst I'd taken the largest shopping bag we have, it would only just fit, with the handles of the bag in a peculiar position and would have been excruciating for John to carry all the way home, so we called a mini cab for him to come home with the machine and I came back alone on Libby.

I was so fed up with the pavements that I used the cycle path for much of the way home. although I felt terrified of any traffic which passed me. Fortunately there were no cyclists about to use it and shout at me.

So I arrived home freezing cold, mentally exhausted, emotionally drained from fear and aching all over, specially in my previously "good" knee. I wish I'd thought to wear gloves and a hat, too, but that was just my own stupid fault.

Anyway, John managed to smuggle the espresso machine in and hide it without Charles seeing it, so what with the purchases I made from Amazon yesterday, that's almost all my Christmas present shopping done! Hurrah!

I was going to go the Lit & Phil this afternoon, but even if the car were to be miraculously repaired in the next half hour, I'm far too exhausted to go. At least I can sit in front of the TV or read a book and get my knees warm again with a fleecy blanket.

E-mail program

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:40:01 GMT

Well, I've downloaded Thunderbird and started to use it, but upsettingly, it won't import my Agent address book. This very irritating as I can't say I'm ecstatic at having to transfer every single e-mail address of every single one of my correspondents manually.

Anyone have any suggestions? I won't see any replies till tomorrow, because I'm planning an early-for-me night and am just off to make my Ovaltine.

What to do?

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:15:18 GMT

I've used Agent for newsgroups and e-mail for yearsandyears and I now find that there's a new version available to me for $19.

Since I haven't read newsgroups for about a year now and don't feel tempted to do so, I can't make up my mind whether to upgrade Agent or to start using a new e-mail program, since Agent has got a bit flaky recently.

What e-mail program do other people recommend?

Cross posted to the Ladies Loos

Sick and tired!

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:17:55 GMT

I've been feeling lousy for days and having just looked up possible side effects for Metronidazole, I discover that nausea and loss of appetite are two of the most common, along with tiredness. I find this strange because I don't remember having these symptoms last time I took it.

At least it explains my disinclination to eat and unwillingness to do anything much, although it's a bit of a nuisance so close to Christmas, when there's so much to do. I'm also sick of eating boiled/scrambled eggs and/or toast. I wonder if it's also the cause of my worsening arthritis. At the moment I have arthritis in both knees, which has never happened before. I'm feeling a bit scared that it won't go away, because, frankly, it's more than twice as difficult to bear or deal with than having it in one knee only. I suppose I should see my Lovely Lady Doctor, but I'm scared of sitting round in the surgery waiting-room surrounded by sick people only too anxious to pass on their illnesses to me, judging by their behaviour.

I'm almost inclined to get back into bed, but I only left it at 12.30, because I wanted to keep my poor knees warm.

Bramble is being an utter pain, bullying poor Morgan and being sick in inconvenient places every other day. If it weren't for the fact that he's almost at the end of his steroids and will have to see the vet soon anyway, I'd be taking him in right now. I keep threatening him with the Cats' Home, but Charles says that if Bramble goes, so does he!

I've completely come to the end of ideas as to what to buy people for Christmas. I have a nice new dressing gown for John, to replace the one which has cobwebs instead of fabric at the elbows, and a few CDs and a couple of books for Charles; John and I are going to Lidl early on Thursday to see if we can get one of their Special Offer Extremely Cheap Espresso machines for Charles. I might get them both bedspreads to keep them warm, but that's not very exciting, is it?

On the other hand, I'm almost totally devoid of ideas for presents they can get me, since I seem to have everything I need or want that doesn't cost a fortune.

Maybe I'll feel a bit more inspired when I've finished these lbooyd tablets!

Yesterday I bought horribly expensive tickets online for a Jan Garbareck concert at The Sage in January. I always seem to choose concerts where there are no cheap tickets for the unemployed, so I always have to pay full price for Charles, although I get a small concession for myself as I'm a pensioner. I could go alone, but I'd feel awfully mean going to see something he likes so much and leaving him behind! Never mind! I will not feel guilty at having a little cultural pleasure!

I need to have a little lie-down now.

November!

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:36:56 GMT

November

by Thomas Hood

No sun--no moon!
No morn--no noon!
No dawn--no dusk--no proper time of day--
No sky--no earthly view--
No distance looking blue--

No road--no street--
No "t'other side the way"--
No end to any Row--
No indications where the Crescents go--

No top to any steeple--
No recognitions of familiar people--
No courtesies for showing 'em--
No knowing 'em!

No mail--no post--
No news from any foreign coast--
No park--no ring--no afternoon gentility--
No company--no nobility--

No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member--
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds,
November!

Good old Tom! He had it right, specially about the "comfortable feel", I'm having a bad bout of arthritis!!

The roof is leaking again and every time we put the bucket underneath, Morgan tries to get in the bucket and knocks it over, spilling all the water! Daft cat!

Still, at least I'm free of the torture of tooth abscess pain. It's taken over 48 hours for the pain to go away enough for me to eat solid food! I'm really looking forward to tonight's roast chicken!

Yesterday, inspired by Friday's Buy Nothing Day, I decided to have an internet-free and almost PC-free day, so I read more than usual and listened to some of my neglected CDs in an effort to distract myself from my abscess-pain.

I was reading Ursula LeGuin's The Left Hand of Darkness at the same time as listening to a CD of Arvo Pärt's music and I was really struck by how well Fratres and Cantus in memoriam Benjamin Britten go with the descriptions of Rer in the grip of an icy winter.

Speaking of icy winters, it's only 15.34 and I shall have to turn the lights on and draw the curtains any minute. Can't wait for Spring!

Up all night!

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 09:34:00 GMT

I've been awake all night again, what with raging envy being immediately punished by raging toothache. I'm pretty sure it's another abscess and it's in the same old place. Fortunately my Lovely Dentist is able to see me at lunchtime, but last time this occurred he said he thought it would have to come out if it happened again.

If it has to be extracted, the gap will be visible when I smile. Sob! Whine! Moan!

Self-loathing.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 21:23:32 GMT

I hate myself!

I've just been to the Lit & Phil to a reading my friend Pippa gave of her new prize-winning collection of poetry and I'm sick with jealousy. Not because she won a prize and had her collection published, although that's something I long for myself, but because her poetry is so bloody good.....and compelling! It's made me feel like tearing up everything I've ever written.

I hate jealousy and I feel worthless and loathe myself for feeling it. especially as she's such a lovely person, and she deserves it. I hate feeling so vile.

Sorry! I had to let that out somewhere!

Hurrah! A room of one's own!

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:15:21 GMT

Hurrah! I am seriously chuffed!! John has finished the office for me and all we need to do now is thoroughly dust it and move stuff back in there from the spare room, discarding rubbish as we go.

It's a lovely bright primrose yellow which reflects the light and makes it much lighter in there than the peculiarly placed window would normally allow, with a pretend-tile melamine floor which stops the draughts whistling through the wooden floor.

I couldn't sleep on Tuesday night, so in the middle of the night I ordered transparent vinyl mats from eBay to stop the chair castors from damaging the flooring; believe it or not, they arrived at lunchtime today! That's what I call service. I've put them down already so that they unroll and the light blue colour which was why they were so cheap is perfect on the dark quarry-tile effect flooring. Hurrah!

It's supposed to be part of my Christmas present, since John bought all the flooring and paint for it; he keeps saying that I can't use it till Christmas Day, but there's nothing to stop me sorting it out, is there?

Hurrah! I shall be able to put the shredder in there; I hate having it in my bedroom, because I can't use the shredder when I can't sleep, but that room doesn't have any other rooms over it and is at least 30 feet away from the nearest sleeper. I can also put several of my ring-binders in there and have more room in the shelves which match my bedroom desk for things which are in the way elsewhere in the room!

I can also, at last, put my wheeled set of drawers containing much of my craft stuff in there, leaving me free to get at the part of my wardrobe containing tops, handbags, etc., without having to wheel it out of the way every time; that will also leave me more floor space, not that that is a problem in this massive room..

And I can keep my sewing machine in there, ready for use. I may get a lot more mending and sewing done!

I planned to put my easel and paints in there as well, and I might put the iron and ironing-board in there, since I hardly ever iron anything. On the other hand perhaps that's not such a good idea, since pastel dust gets everywhere! Hmmmmm! I shall have to think about that!

And I now have a dilemma. My lovely 20 volume Oxford English Dictionary has been in my bedroom for some time, since I couldn't get into the office to use it, but now I can't decide whether to keep it in my room or to put it back in the office. I like having it in my bedroom, but I also liked having it in the office and would probably get equal amounts of use out of it wherever I kept it, but if it's in my bedroom, other people can't consult it if I'm asleep. But would they want to? Decisions, decisions!!

I also have to decide what pictures I want hanging in there..............but maybe I should print out some of my lovely photos and get some nice cheap frames from IKEA.........

I can't wait to start using the room!

Doing a Happy Hobble!

So annoying!

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:17:22 GMT

We've recently returned from an abortive brunch at the Café Royal in Newcastle. Well, the other two had brunch, I had a regular mocha coffee (despite ordering a large one) and a citrus juice drink.

Of course we ordered a meal for me, it just didn't arrived and when we finally asked where it was, they brought us a till roll showing that it hadn't been charged for, except for the extra £1.50 they charged for extra bacon. The waiter implied that this demonstrated that we hadn't ordered another meal and said, rather dismissively, that we could, if we liked, re-order it. Since by this time Charles had already finished his and John had almost finished his and since I didn't want to go downstairs and join a by now rather long queue to re-order, then eat alone, I replied that I wouldn't bother to order now and that in view of his attitude we wouldn't be eating there again. His reply was along the lines of "OK, Fine!".

When I examined the copy till receipt he brought us and noticed the extra charge of £1.50, I called him back and asked for it to be refunded. He didn't return to our table but sent one of the girls with the refund. Normally we would have ordered some kind of pastry or dessert and had some more of their extremely expensive, though delicious, coffee, but since Charles was showing signs of wanting to punch the young man in the snoot, we deemed it best to leave.

When we got home, I realised that we had inadvertently paid a service charge of 15%, which we would never have paid under the circumstances, but which was added to the bill at the time Charles paid for it, before we had even sat down or experienced any service and that we hadn't had a refund of the 15% VAT on the £1.50, which is relatively trivial, but still annoying under the circumstances.

What is really annoying is that this was our absolutely favourite place for Sunday brunch in Newcastle and we normally go there maybe four times a year for brunch, on top of the occasions Charles and I go there for lunch during shopping trips. I would add that it isn't cheap, either. Charles did say that it had cost less than he expected, but we've found that lots of places have reduced their prices recently, so thought no more of it.

What is even more upsetting for me and John is that this is the first time for years that Charles has suggested we go out for a meal somewhere, although he sometimes does pay, when he can afford it. But he hasn't made a suggestion like this for over 10 years. It represented a massive leap forward in his mental health and now that is utterly ruined. He's stated that not only is he never going there again, but he intends never to eat in a restaurant again. He's fulminating against life and people in general, but particularly the citizens of the north, in terms I wouldn't care to repeat. It's been a disaster for his mental health and his father and I feel really upset about it.

Needless to say, I have written a polite but extremely detailed letter of complaint to the Managing Director of the group. I'm not, however, holding my breath for a reply or an apology.

I've now had a bowl of Covent Garden chicken soup, which has filled me up, but not mended my temper!

Invisible text?? Whatever next??

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:16:00 GMT

I was devastated when I got back from the Lit & Phil this afternoon to find that almost all of the work I'd done today had disappeared, just as happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I'd written 1239 words in 2 hours, and I was rather pleased about it until I discovered what had happened.

My kind son examined the files on my netbook and discovered that the work was still there, only now in text invisible until selected and highlighted. I was sooo pleased, but have since discovered that no matter how many times I change the text to black, it still disappears when it's saved. I'm rather puzzled about this as I'm not sure how I can transfer it to my PC from my netbook in order to print it out. I suppose I could try e-mailing it. Or if the worst comes to the worst, try transferring it to Microsoft Works and sending that by e-mail. Any suggestions gladly received.

Sigh....................why do these things only happen to me?

I'm using Rough Draft and I posted some of this to the iwrislomo LJ community as I wondered whether any other users had discovered similar glitches. I shall have to wait and see what transpires, but I'm not holding my breath.

I discovered that this is also what happened to the work which vanished two weeks ago and that that is also still there, but in invisible print. I'm delighted that it isn't lost, particularly as I haven't yet attempted to re-write it, but am at a loss to know quite how to proceed from here.

Lucy has developed what has been diagnosed as an intermittent solenoid fault which means that whenever she feels cross, she won't start in spite of having a full battery. It's making me rather nervous about driving anywhere until Keith can have her on Tuesday, but I really need to go to Costco tomorrow and I have an podiatrist's appointment on Monday. What's the betting she shows off in Costco car park in the pouring rain?

Another test

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:30:13 GMT

Here I am again, trying to post via Semagic.

The test post I did yesterday turned out fine except for the inserted picture which was enormous and which showed Charles who I'm absolutely forbidden to show on the Internet.

So the only thing to test now is embedding a picture from my LJ galleries. Hmmmm! Not so easy!

It will use a photo* from my own C drive, though.

I have no idea how large that will turn out, so apologies if it's huge!

Edit: *It was huge, so I've edited it for friends' lists.

Never satisfied.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:07:58 GMT

I had another good night's sleep last night and actually woke up early for me. However, I felt thoroughly fed up for some reason, and rather than do all the things I planned, I've sat around feeling grumpy and reading. I wonder whether it's the grim weather and the dark sky which is affecting me? I know Charles gets SAD and I suspect the John has it too, but I don't usually get it, and now I'm disgusted with myself for not doing all the things which need doing, just because I'm feeling grumpy.

I haven't even thought about tonight's dinner, so I suppose it will have to be omelette again because I haven't defrosted anything; at least I bought some eggs on Saturday!

Something else which is bugging me is LJ. Why can't I get my blog to accept a larger font as default? Every time I delete something, the text reverts to micro-minute and it's really irritating. Sometimes it happens when I just start a new paragraph. I've searched all the options and can't find any way of setting a default text size

See? This what I mean!!!

I really wish a kind fairy would come along and wave a wand and get rid off all my rubbish in an ecologically friendly way, then clean my room thoroughly. I've been waiting for someone to vacuum it for weeks, since vacuuming is a job I find difficult nowadays, but I shouldn't criticise others, since my desk is a disaster area again! I wish people would stop sending me stuff that needs either filing or recycling, it completely stifles my creativity, but I can't force myself to cope with it. The pile of stuff which needs shredding is getting higher and higher and the $%£&*)£" shredder keeps playing up. See? Why did that happen? it wasn't even a new paragraph!

Oh! This damned thing is driving me nuts! I have to go away and have a G&T I think.

Shoes and ships and maybe just the odd bit of sealing wax.

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 13:49:06 GMT

I'm very grateful that we're not, so far, having the awful storms that people have been having elsewhere in the country. It hardly rained at all yesterday and was really nice in the morning. Today it's mild and overcast, although fairly bright.

I've had a couple of days of excruciating knee pain but after a good night's sleep (finally) and a long lie-in with the curtains drawn listening to The Archers, I'm feeling much better. It was such a lovely lie-in because I felt completely relaxed and comfortable; that happens to me comparatively rarely nowadays, even in bed.

I've had quite a busy week; Monday morning was devoted to a meeting with the Regional Manager of "my" charity, giving a statement over an ongoing serious misconduct investigation, which was exhausting, specially since I know the person quite well and really like him. Still,...........them's the responsibilities that go with being a Trustee I suppose.

Tuesday was given over to a Board meeting of the charity; for a change it was in Newcastle and less than 300 yards from my house, so, for once I didn't have to get up at 5.30 and spend hours on the motorway. I trundled along in Libby and then had to spend ages waiting for someone to let me in to the disabled "access" door. To be fair it's an old church building which must have been hard to bring up to the specifications, but it wasn't helped by the person who should have answered my ringing the bell with a short conversation over the intercom, actually physically coming out from wherever she was hidden away round the back to see who was at the door and then going back inside and making her way round to open the door and help me with the quaint little lift. So I, who live the nearest of all, was late for the meeting...... so embarrassing!

So that was another challenging day, because the meetings almost always last at least three hours with an interval for a sandwich lunch. I made a point of congratulating the committee clerk on her choice of caterer, because there were a couple of plates stacked high with crudités and dips and another of fruit cut into convenient wedges. There were none of my bugbears from most of the various committees I've attended in recent years such as the ubiquitous cold mini-samosas, or the equally ubiquitous tiny cold spring rolls, both of which are meant to be eaten warm, for Heaven's sake! No crisps, no mini pork pies, no nuts, just lots of really nice sarnies with all the lovely vegetables and fruit.

I was back home, thoroughly worn out, by 4.00 pm.

On Wednesday Charles and I went to Asda for the first time ever, in search of the new "Genius" gluten free bread, but they didn't have any yet. We bought their own "wholemeal" GF bread, though, unsliced, and Charles is very pleased with it. It doesn't crumble even when you slice it, it doesn't fall apart in the toaster, and the slices are indistinguishable in appearance from ordinary wholemeal bread. Better still, from Charles' point of view is their ability to stand up to the toastie maker. I always find shopping tiring, even in Libby, but Asda was fairly quiet at the time we went and we thought it was at least on a par with prices at Morrisons, if not a little cheaper.

Sainsbury's have completely lost my custom because a few weeks back they sent me a £10 off e-voucher for my next online shop, presumably because I hadn't used them for a while. After I'd laboriously ordered a large quantity of shopping and went to enter my money-off voucher, the automated cashier refused to accept it. Since it was about five days before I'd requested delivery, I confirmed the order and immediately e-mailed the department which had sent me the e-voucher. When they didn't even bother to reply, I e-mailed them again, with the same result. I eventually cancelled my order at the very last moment it was possible to do so. I've still not had a reply to my e-mail, nor anyone enquiring why I'd cancelled such a large order at the last moment. So sod 'em! As someone who increasingly relies on online shopping of all kinds, I have no time for shoddy service like that; there are plenty of other places willing to take my money.

On Thursday my knees were already giving me heaps. so I had a quiet day at home and on Friday I went to the Lit & Phil, at the same time taking Charles to his voluntary job at the Mining Institute which is next door to the L&P and whose staff entrance is actually via the L&P ground floor. I hate having to use the chairlift, it takes ages to come down from the floor above and ages to ascend with me in it. I find it the most embarrassing thing about being disabled because it's somehow so public and there's almost always a couple of fit young persons bouncing up and down stairs while it grinds slowly upwards. I keep wanting to shout "Make the most of it! I could do that three years ago!". Even more frequently there's a bent-over elderly person with a stick climbing slowly and steadfastly upwards and then I want to say "I really have to use this you know. I know I'm younger than you and I look healthier, but I have heart failure and while I could climb the stairs, it would take me half an hour to recover."

Charles came into the library to meet me at about 4.30 and by 5.00 we were ready to leave, but Lucy let me down and refused to start complaining that she had a flat battery. Fortunately the details of our new, insurance company funded, roadside service were in the glove box and a Very Nice Young Man from a local company came along in about half an hour to start her up. John took her out for a longish drive to try to put enough juice back into the battery so that she would start next day and this afternoon I plan to take her for a longish drive in daylight, to top up the battery.

I had a good afternoon on Friday and wrote over 1000 words, editing as I went along; I'm very pleased with it. Losing so much work the previous week had dented my confidence and I still don't feel able to rewrite that, so I enjoyed myself by starting to write a pivotal chapter, which won't actually come along chronologically for several chapters after the place I'd lost my work. As I'd been thinking about this quite a lot, it almost seemed to write itself and turned out rather more solid than I'd feared.

Yesterday we had a quick visit to Lidl for various odds and ends we needed and I made the mistake of leaving Libby behind and trying to manage with just the stick. I stupidly thought that the exercise might help the knee pain! It slowly got worse and worse and I really only just managed to hold on long enough to make it through the till.

Last evening John went to The Sage with D to see a brass band concert. Sadly they had to leave early as D was shaking so much with Parkinson's that the whole row of seats were shaking. I don't suppose he'll go again.....it's so sad! I wish to God they'd hurry up with this cure they've found; I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people like him, who would rather act as guinea pigs than wait for all the testing. At this rate the bloody drug won't be ready till it's too late to help him.

And while they're at it, can they just hurry up with this new way they've discovered of growing one's own blood vessels? I would dearly like another one for my own tiny heart/lung problem which makes a disproportionately huge difference to my life and then I wouldn't let any old knee pain stop me from walking wherever I wanted or going up and down stairs. And I wouldn't bother about losing the DLA benefits, either, because I would be able to undertake more bookkeeping to compensate.

Oh dear! I must stop moaning!

Oh my God! Look at the time. I must go and put the beef into the slow cooker!

Remembrance Day Service

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:43:31 GMT

I couldn't bear to watch it!

I made it as far as The Minstrel Boy to the War Has Gone which reduced to me a soggy wreck and even remembering Grandma's rude words for Men of Harlech didn't help me recover my equilibrium, so I retreated to my room and listened to it on headphones.

Every year it seems to get worse and I don't know whether it's because the last of the WW1 veterans have died, or because there have been so many more deaths among our troops in Afghanistan this last year, specially recently, that it was just unbearable this time.

Or is it the old music? I'm pretty certain that choirs of schoolgirls don't sing The Minstrel Boy with piano accompaniment any more. Am I crying for those long-gone safe secure days when I was a child and any more war was unthinkable, although sadly not for long? Is it just nostalgia? I don't think so, nostalgia isn't so painful.

At the moment they're playing The Gay Gordons which I have as my mobile phone ring tone, and even that's making me weep. Oh no! Now they're interviewing a new recruit who has absolutely no idea what he's in for..............

Garrison Keillor

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:06:32 GMT

I've just finished listening to Garrison Keillor's Radio Show, The Prairie Home Companion, and have realised that it's a bit of a secret vice; I listen to it wearing headphones and as far as I know, no-one else knows that I do so.

I really love it, it takes me right back to the 50s and I wonder if anyone else among my friends listens to it. Does anyone else listen to it?

Or what other secret listening vices do you have? Or a viewing one, even?

Crossposted to theladiesloos